THE UNSEEN WAYS OF LOVE
Love expresses itself in many ways. Sometimes love is camouflaged, hidden under layers of protection and may be difficult to recognize or receive in the form it is given. For example, I knew mother loved me. However, it took years to see how she expressed her love which I often misunderstood. She expressed her love by attempting to protect me from harm. She tried to teach me how to do things “right” so I wouldn’t be hurt by doing them wrong. What appeared to me as constant criticism and attempts to control me were actually her way of loving.
When I heard myself giving advice to a woman friend in a very similar tone of voice, I realized my admonitions and advice to her to take care of herself were coming from a concerned, protective place in me. I loved my friend and I didn’t want to see her get hurt. I was trying to express my love in identically the same way. What a surprise!
No matter what habitual pattern is presenting itself in my life right now underneath is a loving self trying to give me what I want and need to thrive and be. I can penetrate to a deeper layer of motivation and see love is the prime motivator of all action. I then can discover a place of acceptance and forgiveness in myself for whatever pain and difficulty I have experienced. It’s tempting to judge myself. I may look back on my life and berate myself for the so-called mistakes I have made and wish I had the time and energy to undo or redo the consequences of my actions.
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Love expresses itself in many ways. Sometimes love is camouflaged, hidden under layers of protection and may be difficult to recognize or receive in the form it is given. For example, I knew mother loved me. However, it took years to see how she expressed her love which I often misunderstood. She expressed her love by attempting to protect me from harm. She tried to teach me how to do things “right” so I wouldn’t be hurt by doing them wrong. What appeared to me as constant criticism and attempts to control me were actually her way of loving.
When I heard myself giving advice to a woman friend in a very similar tone of voice, I realized my admonitions and advice to her to take care of herself were coming from a concerned, protective place in me. I loved my friend and I didn’t want to see her get hurt. I was trying to express my love in identically the same way. What a surprise!
No matter what habitual pattern is presenting itself in my life right now underneath is a loving self trying to give me what I want and need to thrive and be. I can penetrate to a deeper layer of motivation and see love is the prime motivator of all action. I then can discover a place of acceptance and forgiveness in myself for whatever pain and difficulty I have experienced. It’s tempting to judge myself. I may look back on my life and berate myself for the so-called mistakes I have made and wish I had the time and energy to undo or redo the consequences of my actions.
Read more...
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